i need to change my ways

now.

Maybe

I will work hard tomorrow

No time

Too busy y'all. Work. School. AKPSI. AND MIDTERMS.

Say what up if you see me on gchat between 12am and 6am. ill be on alot this week.

a new hope

I got a job. Getting pretty close to AKPsi people. School is ok, like my classes, but need to get my studying done.

I guess this blog is just saying that I have been fortunate to get a job in this shitty economy. I feel like I earned this, but could not have gotten it with my journey through my crazy life. Looking back, If I didnt go to hth, I wouldnt have a job there, and I probably wouldnt have gone to UCSD, because I learned about COSMOS at UCSD, which helped influence me to go to UCSD. If I didnt go to HTH but went to UCSD I wouldnt have gotten that job because Jack Kushnatsian would not have recommended me. So what am I trying to tell you? I have no fucking clue lol. I guess its that its funny to look back on your life and see how the pieces fit together. Life is a series of intersecting lives and incidents. Reflect on your life, if you are reading this. It is one of the best things if you live a really good life or really shitty life. Reflect.

Thank you Jack Kushnatsian, even though you are most likely never going to read this. I am eternally grateful. I have a lot of school work to catch up on. I do not see myself sleeping a lot this next week, with rush week, work orientation, and studying.

So I am in school, I have a decent job, and making some pretty good friends. I am thinking of venturing to another aspect of life. Love. Maybe I am way over my head, but I promised myself if I got a job I was going to take a shot at it. I will let you know what happens with this in another blog.




Oh, I still need to lose weight too.




But, a new hope for a more productive and happy life is here. Going to build on it and make better choices for a better life.

So until then, this life is just a dream.

the beginning of the second year of college

I move in to my dorm at 3:00 pmtoday. I am still not finished packing, plus I need to sleep. I am sorry I have not been updating this, I just never had the heart to do so. This summer, was a failure to me. As I have always believed throughout my life, I did not lose weight. I actually gained weight. Everything I worked hard for, vanished through this summer. I did not get a job, and actually increased my debt. I did not take 2 classes, only 1, but I still managed to get an A.

I have lost my swagger, momentum, and confidence that allow me to be the best that I can be. I hate to blame my problems on other people, but I believe my dad and my Grandma prevented me from achieving my goals. My dad still acts the same. It seems this whole summer. I try to avoid him because of his annoying nature. My Grandma moved into my house for about a month, and now she moved back out. All the work my parents and I did to move her in seems like it was not appreciated, and in all honesty was a waste of our time. Old people, and parents, are some of the complicated things in life.

I read a book, called the Five People You Meet in Heaven, and I learned that in life you are going to have to sacrifice for other people and forgive other people for their mistakes and problems. Its totally easier said than done, but still nonetheless true.

So now, back to the same weight range I was a year ago, and almost 700 dollars in debt, only I can solve these problems. I am taking five classes, and going to have to find a job. I want to get back to the gym, no more serious shit, realistic goals because that is the only true way to lose weight.

On another note, if I have the power to, I do not have to live in this house anymore. And trust me I dont. I am going to do everything in my power to not come back here again, because I only feel trapped and controlled when I am in this house. I love my parents, but I cant live with them. So, this can actually be the last day I am permanently in this house. But I can never tell.

So, back to school. I hope I do everything I am striving for. Good night, and see you around.

the end of day

i am writing this at 3 49 am and i just came home from a party held from my parents friends. i couldnt sleep. i checked twitter and kid cudi said his album got leaked. i have been anticipating this album the whole summer. i am listening to the first song, and the feeling is undescribeable. i am not saying this to be pretentious. this album is going to be very important to me. music is important in my life, and i just wanted to share with you an artist that is so fucking amazing. i am listening to the second song and fuck. this album is going to be crazy. give it a listen. if you dont like it, i could understand because his music applies to my feelings of lonliness, depression, alienation, being an outsider, and feeling that i am just on the moon. this music is gonna get me through many things. im sorry for sounding so lame but i love this shit. here is the link, hopefully you can still get it. if you read this and cant get the link, i will be happy to give you the cd somehow. im probably just talking to dylan. ok ima go now, i probably not sleeping tonight. good night. good music

http://download706.mediafire.com/ytzt2t3xymng/1czgyeztmz2/Kid+Cudi+-+Man+On+The+Moon+the+End+of+day+2009.zip

i feel like

there is nothing left for me in the valley (except the awesome friends), i need to get on with my life in SD.