yo no emo

killing myself would be nice right now

im sorry i havent been updating this

but ive just been busy. life is alright i guess. its summer though, shouldnt i have more time/fun

cant put into words

how i feel right now. just tired of always feeling bad, unmotivated, and like shit. summer is coming soon, i need a vacation man

to be honest

i fucking hate losing. basically i hate it when i dont achieve my goals

aint nothing wrong, aint nothing right

Damn, I know its been a long time since an update but to tell you the truth nothing new has really happened.

Last quarter I did kinda good in school, but as always I could have done better. This quarter however, I seem to be focusing more. I have cut off a lot of distractions like FB, laker games, and going out. It has allowed me to study more, sleep better, but then again it has made me antisocial.

I kinda dont care anymore. I am starting to realize that I prefer to be alone most of the time. I dont like people telling me what to do, and I dont like being judged by anyone. Id rather not deal with that bullshit and get my stuff done. Then again, you enjoy life better with people, but I feel like I want to do good in school and set myself to enjoy later on. That is what my parents advised me to do, and I am already halfway through college I might as well start investing.

Just last year I had a set of goals, I didnt meet them but I plan to do the same right now

1. get back to 220 pound range

2. save 1k just emergency

3. Get straight A's

4. Look for an accounting internship for the summer.

Yah those are my goals for the quarter. i am trying my best to fulfill them. Anyway, im hustlin right now, so I will ttyl

im tired of feeling like shit all the time

but nothing will change unless i do anything. i keep telling myself that but......

fuck

school, money, materialism, work, expectations

are you really happy with what you are doing? does learning about some random shit you are never gonna use in your life make you feel good? and does doing well on a test based on pure memorization without learning the true concept mean anything? do you really want to go to college or are you being forced by society, capitalism, parents? are learning what you really want to learn?

ask yourself.